that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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