I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
