But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
