woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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