I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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