I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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