his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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