Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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