i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Come share oat with me in your robe
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize