Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
