it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The uberlube is also flammable
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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