so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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