You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
