You're so nebulous sometimes
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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