there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
