I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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