i don't like sucking hair
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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