But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The maid of honor just puked.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
