Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
