Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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