i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
