ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.