Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?