ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
do herpes really smell.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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