we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
