So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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