Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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