I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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