I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
