I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
