We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
