You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize