That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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