He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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