A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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