I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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