I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
