insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
