You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
