as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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