my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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