Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
