i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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