mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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