the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
