You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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