I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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