i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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