There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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