They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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