oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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