Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Never joke about your clitoris.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
