Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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