the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize