I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
never play flip cup with pint glasses
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
