Are we in a gay sports bar?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
