We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
