I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
