dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
