sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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