My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
sarcasm needs its own font
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
be right there i have to get my cape
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
